I'll take tattoo number 37

After church this morning we decided to take the kids to Krispy Kreme for doughnuts as a treat for being really good this week. Last week Martin couldn't sit still and wouldn't stop playing with the air conditioning vents. Sofi dropped a box of Cheerios on the floor. This week they were near perfect so it was doughnut time.

We walked in and started ordering and as we were wrapping up at the counter a truck pulled up and two couples hop out. It was pretty obvious they were on their way to the beach as both girls were wearing bikini tops and shorts and the guys were in swim trunks and flip flops. On second thought this is Florida so they could have been on their way to job interviews or the beach. The thing that stuck out about these two couples was the abundance of tattoos. Nothing cool, like a full sleeve or a Yakuza style full body tattoo, these were random tattoos with nothing that pulled them together. There was no theme is the way my wife explained it. As someone who doesn't have tattoos, this would be the same as me waking up and deciding to put on one dress shoe, one flip flop, a dress shirt, necktie, and a thong.

Let's start with girl #1. Her visible tattoos were the numbers 407 on her ankle and a butterfly on the top of her foot. She also had a name in scrolly font that I couldn't read on her shoulder and a heart on her arm. What goes through anyone's mind when ordering a tattoo? Did she walk in and when asked what she wanted did she panic? Was the only thing that came to mind her area code? "Uh, not really sure what tattoo I want but since I've been having a devil of a time remembering my area code, could you put that on my ankle?" At the very least why would she use two different fonts for the name on her shoulder and her ankle? Everyone knows that you never mix Abigail with Charlemagne Standard.

Girl #2 didn't fair much better. She had the standard scroll work on her back right above her rear (tramp stamp as the kids say), a tiger on her shoulder and the initials GB on her chest. At least GB was in a standard sans serif font.

Oddly, the most normal of the four was the guy with girl #1. He only had barb wire on one arm and seemed to be the brains of the outfit. He paid for the doughnuts and made sure everyone had napkins. I pictured him as a fellow dad, someone with a little sense. Then as he started to eat his doughnut that image was shattered as he announced to his girlfriend that he "cain't even eat doughnuts no more" as the hole is his tooth had gotten worse. Maybe next time instead of paying for tattoos he might consider going to a dentist.